ANATOMY OF A SHOW (or an autopsy of a potentially great one). 

01/01/2012 

BACK TO BLOG
January 1st twenty twelve, London England.  I’m in my living room surrounded by a swag of gifts from fans who attended my New Year’s Eve show in Manchester last night.  I posted a picture on facebook if you haven’t seen.  Over the years I’ve often said with gratitude that because of the very fortunate life I’ve made from music I really don’t want you to spend money on gifts for me.  You are my employer and I have the best job in the world.  I feel so blessed and a bit like a spoiled child when you spend your hard earned money on me anyway – and gifts; well they just feel like they should be showered on someone more deserving.  That doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate it.  On the contrary I’m humbled by the effort and I always try to honour your kindness by making use of the gifts in some way.

But the biggest gift you can give me is joy – of which I spoke about on stage (and is hopefully the topic of this blog).  You see, I’ve been obsessed with the difference between happiness and joy recently.  Many people have pondered it but perhaps the most pop culture appropriate in my universe is a musing by George Lucas who compared (forgive me while I paraphrase) the two emotions thusly : happiness fades but joy endures.  Joy is also much more rare.

Happiness, like the kind you get when you buy your first car, can never be exceeded.  You can purchase another car, a more expensive car.  But nothing will ever quite top the thrill of that first time.  You can try to replicate it your entire life but you’ll never feel the degree of happiness you felt the day you held the keys of your first car (mine was a rusty yellow one with a beat up stereo I inherited from a sister wink

Joy, on the other hand – is never replicated because every joyful experience is unique and each one can be accessed any time you think about it.  Like last night, for example, when I burst into tears mid way through singing ‘ I knew I loved you’.  You see, I thought about my career.  I thought about 20 years in the business (the treacherous, vile, greedy, electric, exciting and ultimately shallow music industry) and the fact that through all of the years you’ve stood by me.  Then I thought of the point in my life when I wrote the song with Daniel Jones – when our record company told us we didn’t have any hits (on an album with ‘Affirmation’ and ‘Crash and Burn’ on it!).  I thought about how I’d been struggling with depression and very dark thoughts.  I thought about how I didn’t believe in love anymore.  And I wrote lyrics about a fictional person who believed in love at first sight and happy ever afters.

As I sang the song on stage 13 years later – during a show that behind the scenes had been absolutely fraught with technical disasters and a calamity of hurdles all week just to get to show time; I realized I had finally met the person I was singing about all those years ago.  My soul mate and my one true love.  I knew I’d love him.  I just hadn’t met him yet.

Like my album, ‘Secret Codes and Battleships’ (which the more I think about it, is sort of my life story as an album) – the journey to happiness has been so difficult at times. For every positive step there’s been a grey one where I’ve thought the sun would never shine again – but it did and does sometimes.

Not every day.  And not eternally.  But in moments of joy that I’ve filed away in my mind to dust off when the siren’s call is just too deafening.

So sum up – all through the show – as hard as I’d worked and as special as some of the arrangements and staging had been – I was coming down really hard on myself wanting the show to be perfect for you.  In my heart I felt like there were moments that were failing.   I know we didn't fail! The show felt very special. It's just that there were challenges behind the scenes. I know the audience couldn't tell (because we're professionals!) but it made giving you the show you deserve that much more of a challenge because of gremlins in computers and odd technology hiccups. We pushed through and I was so proud of the band for doing such a great job under pressure. Then I got to that song and the show reached a place where real joy presented itself and became something I felt you deserved: it became real. Never to be repeated.  Not to be faked or accessed on demand like cable tv or music in ‘the cloud’.  It became a rare moment of joy.

In essence, we had that moment together.  Everything leading up to it – your support of me through the years, the catwalk we built so you would have a great view – the songs I played as you were entering the building – even the outfits you wore that night – all of it mixed up together to make a magic that enabled us to have a moment together than could never be repeated.

Thank you for my joy.

And here’s to more moments in our lives.

Love always

Darren

Discussion

JD on January 1 2012 said

Although I haven´t been able to be there this time - sadly - I am very happy for those who shared this moment last night (many of them are my friends actually). I can feel what you mean with the joy… and these words,I just know it, will help me through the not so nice times. 2011 has not been kind to me,  but I have a feeling that good things are waiting there for us. Thanks for making me remind that the sun really shines sometimes. And that we all are her rays, in some way.


JoyceakaBromley on January 1 2012 said

I’ve been so lucky to be at each of your New Year’s Eve concerts but last night was by far and above the greatest New Year’s Eve in living memory.  Don’t be hard on yourself, Darren, it was an incredible concert.  There was so much love in that room and when the tears flowed from yourself, so did ours and I for one wanted to give you a great big hug.  You’re an incredible person and want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for bringing me amazing music, amazing friends and just for being a really, really special person.  You’re loved Darren and deservedly so.  Happy New Year.  J xx


CarolynG on January 1 2012 said

Moments of sheer joy are few and far between, indeed. You have to know that you’ve brought so many joyful moments to us. Anything we can do to give some of that joy back is worth every mile traveled and every dollar spent. I’m so sorry you felt even for a moment that the show could even have come close to failing! If there were behind-the-scenes issues you certainly took them in your stride and more than made up for them in the process.  I had one particularly joyful moment last night during “Siren’s Call”. I did what you did during IKILY, took me totally by surprise. I feel so incredibly lucky and blessed to know you.

Oh, and thank you for telling the tipsy lady standing being me to shush. smile


hails on January 1 2012 said

Darren, thank you so much for last night. I don’t think I can ever express in words how much joy you bring to my life.

I remember as if it was yesterday buying spin. I was in need of joy in my life and was in need of some words of wisdom. That album spoke to me like no other album had done before. Good enough could have been written about how I was feeling right then. Like it or not has always been one of my favourite ever songs of yours, because that joy you speak of is how it feels to listen to that song every single time, even nearly a decade later. I still get the biggest grin, my heart still feels full and I am truly in awe of the joy it brings me. It’s one of a handful of songs by any artist that connects to my soul. It’s been a dream of mine to hear you sing like it or not for the longest time. Seeing you singing it last night was like coming full circle. That song was what literally brought me to darrenhayes.com and it’s why I’m here writing this reply and it’s the reason for all the other moments in between.

The biggest gift you can give me is music, and over the years, also words of encouragement in times of need. I have never forgotten all that you have done for me over the years, I feel truly humbled to have had those moments with you.

Most of the time when I speak to you, words fail me, my nerves and my mouth take over without engaging my brain and I’m left kicking myself I never got to say what I wanted, and that is mainly just thank you. It meant so much to me last night to tell you thank you in person. To walk away knowing that I had said thank you was the best feeling. And thank you doesn’t seem nearly enough for the joy you bring to my life.

I remember listening to The Tension and the Spark at a very dark time in my life. And from that I concluded one thing; That elation and happiness were two very different things and that contentment was a really necessary part somewhere in between. One thing that eludes me a lot of the time is happiness, over the years contentment is something I’ve worked hard to achieve. I’ve struggled with depression since my early teens but I’ve always found time for joy, it’s a reason for living. There was a moment last night when you were singing Darkness that I choked back my emotion, because that song will always be raw to me: ‘you discover that the monster you were running from is the monster in you’.

I broke down reading that blog, because, call it what you will, happiness or joy or somewhere in between, I was so happy last night. I have friends here on this fan base who truly care about me, they are some of my best friends, and I couldn’t quite believe that I lucked out and have the most incredible people in my life. I’ve never said so many thank yous, given so many hugs or said ‘love you’ so many times before.

There are people from this fan base that I don’t know in person but they mean so much to me and it was amazing to thank them in person for being a part of the journey of secret codes and battleships with me. One amazing Norwegian chap and an American lady whom I respect greatly, as she does me. There was a moment I was stood beside her at the end of the night and I thought ‘this is mad, we are from different sides of the Atlantic but we are here for the one purpose’. And that purpose was joy.

So this year, as I work hard to see the happiness, as I fight the siren’s call when it comes looking all too often, there is always people who care about me and your music is there to catch me. ‘The Siren’s Call’ gives me that same feeling of joy as like it or not does.

Those moments of joy on stage can be felt in the audience. They can never be recreated but can always be a memory to recall whenever needed. It’s the reason I attend as many shows as possible and it’s the reason I try and explain to people when they don’t understand going to see a show more than once. It’s the being there. It’s all the little bits that can’t be recreated. It’s the feeling you get from being there, that joy.

There was NEVER any time last night when you were failing. Far far from it. Words can not describe how it felt to be there. I woke up this morning and the first thing I thought was ‘did last night really happen?’ It’s the most amazing surreal feeling. There were few other people on this planet I would rather have shared NYE with other than my family and I’m truly humbled by the love your fans have for each other. I drank, I was merry, but I meant every single word I said, I had one of the best nights of my life. That pure joy that can’t ever be taken from us, but can always be remembered.

Thank you Darren for everything you have given us every year, least not 2011, and here’s to another year, full of good things coming your way and more moments of joy.

Love Hails

xx


Angela Tidman on January 1 2012 said

You rocked Darren. Not only did you give ‘eargasm’ - you gave the ‘emotional orgasm’ too! I salute you and your amazing team. Thank you. Happy 2012 - you certainly have got mine off to the best start possible. Long may it, and your beautiful music, continue. Love to you and yours.
AngelaT X


catriona on January 2 2012 said

In the best, most worthwhile endeavours (and performance is certainly one of them!) there’s always an element of risk.  To me…  joy is also a risk.  It’s something we have to give ourselves up to;  we need to train ourselves to accept it, to let it into our lives… and as such it can be a difficult gift.

Do we deserve such a chimera? We know that life is made up of zenith and nadir, high tide and ebb.  One follows another, mains after appetiser, and hey presto, we’re back where we began.  wink  That IS life.

At least it’s MY life.  lol

For a longer time than I want to think about, happiness was the absence of sadness.  That changed.  I now know human beings need joy—- vitally, undeniably—- just as they need air, water, spirit, light, passion, belief, a place to live and a hand to hold in the dark.  Sometimes it comes in surprise packages, one of which is music and the connection it creates.  When you allow that particular joy into your life, it stays in the heart and fortifies it against all the joyless times and Siren’s calls that will come. 

Darren, your joy at giving US that joy is something you’ve always shown, and that’s what brought me here fifteen years ago and continues to hold me today. 

You were brilliant.  Art is life on the edge; you walk it with elegance, vulnerability, and heaps and stacks of joyful cheek.  May it always be so.  smile

xx


Kim on January 2 2012 said

Your words are always hand picked by you. The words that you put in to your music make us see who you are. And you are truly amazing! I have been listening to your songs since I was 10, now I’m 24 and I still do! smile Your songs touch lives beyond your imagination. So keep them coming! Your hard work is always appreciated. You’re a genius, if I may say.

May you keep the joy that you treasure that even in the middle of trials and testing, you still have it. “Consider it pure joy whenever you face trials of many kinds. because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.” -Book of James


Ally on January 2 2012 said

You are an amazingly beautiful and insightful man. Your music has been the soundtrack to my whole life since I was about eleven years old. And it just keeps doing it, providing me with memories and hope and beautiful things. So, though I couldn’t be there for that particular show, I want you to know, your music in itself is a joyful event for me, because thanks to you, I can remember the first song I ever slow danced to, the first CD I bought with my own money, the first time I sang in front of a crowd, the first song I blasted through the speakers in my first place (okay, well it was a student house. Whatever.) Yours is the only music my mom and I listen to together, in fact, a few years ago, you were in Canada, and I went to your show, and when I called my mom, she said, “You had better get pictures!” You yourself represent so much happiness AND joy for me.

Thanks for that, and keep them coming
Love,
Ally


Darren on January 2 2012 said

Thanks so much for the kind words! What an amazing year 2011 was.  Was. It’s in the memory banks know.  Now we’re in the dirt designing stars again wink.  x


izobaal on January 2 2012 said

Dear Darren,
that was such a beautiful blog!
I wasn’t there this time as I couldn’t be other times, but since that fateful day in 1997 when an aussie pen-pal sent me a single from a new australian band called Savage Garden, there have been so many times when despite the distance, there has been joy in my life thanks to you.
I have been grateful of any time I could share moments like the ones you described with you but I have also been grateful to you of all those moments when. despite you not been in the same room, I had to thank you for the joy I was feeling.
You gave me courage when i needed it, comfort when i needed it, friendship when i needed it and so much more.
You made me realize what truly counts in life and that those special moments are a gift, that some people never get to experience and for those I should feel so lucky.
You are not my brother, or boyfriend or relative, you are not one of my closer friends that i can pick up the phone and call in the middle of the night, but your love for us in this community you created goes way beyond the love for music; it’s a special friendship that will keep you with me for the rest of my life, even when one day we may not hear anymore of each other, you will always have my love for all the love you brought to me and I will always have my sweet, dear Darren in mine.
May this new year, and all the years to come, bring back to you all the love you have given to us and more.
I shall try my best to give you mine in person when I get the chance and in spirit when I can’t.
I realized in these past 4 years, that it isn’t always possible to be with all the people you want to be with in the same time. Sometimes you have to pick the person that needs you the most, and the moment that you need the most to be able to happy. But love is endless in space and time and when it is given it will always reach their target, one way or another.
Happy 2012 Darren smile


Lots and lots of love
Izzy

PS considering that it’s been now about 15 years since I first saw you, i think we still look pretty awesome, how did we do that? :D

 


Maria Carmo on January 2 2012 said

My Daughter Sofia and her boy friend Luís were there in Manchester with you. Like last year in London, they loved the show, and were only too sad that all they could was get an autograph from you (instead of a nice picture like last year) since there was so much pressure from many fans… Still, they went all the way just for your concert, as usual, and loved it…
When will you come to Portugal? That would be swell.


alessandro on January 2 2012 said

hi super darren!! unfortunatly i cant came in london to see your show, because now im in brisbane with working holiday visa… yes im italian and i have here with me your beatuifull sign take at the secret tour in london!!! i wanna try to live in brisbane forever… if you can help me to do this, write me an email… happy new year!!!!!


danidenoord on January 2 2012 said

So lovely that it works both ways. We find joy in the things you do for us and we can give you joy in return…makes you think of some lyrics that a certain person has written: I believe in karma, what you give is what you get returned grin Must have been a magnificent evening, so gutted I couldn’t attend. Next time I certainly will be there to witness it for myself. Your blogs are so lovely to read, you really are adorable! Much love, x.


Debbie on January 2 2012 said

I have never been fortunate enough to see you live yet Darren. But I will do. That is a promise.

The first time i heard one of your songs I was going through a pretty tough time. I had just had a baby, and also found out my partner at the time, was cheating. We had been together since school and i was totally heartbroken. I was round a friends house and she was playing a cd. I was mesmerised by the voice that was singing so beautifully. That voice was yours Darren. The song was “Crash and Burn”.  My friend said to me listen to the song carefully. I did, and i knew what she was trying to say to me. I was from that day on a fan of Savage Garden.

It was a few months later that she introduced me to her brother. he has been working up north but had come home. We hit it off straight away. And now we have four children, two of whom are twin boys. We have been married for 6 years now and We have never been happier.  So I thank you Darren for not only bringing me happiness, but also the joy of falling in love with a wonderful man, and also have four healthy and beautiful children.

Happy New Year Darren!

xxxx


Julia on January 2 2012 said

What a beautiful soul you have, Darren. I hadn’t heard your music for a while until early in 2011 but have been drawn back into it since then and I must say I am so happy that I have been.  Listening to all your songs all over again is a real pleasure and although I don’t remember what was happening in my life when you released the songs over the years, I do remember how I felt about the music.  I’ve always loved your music and when I saw you in concert in Brisbane in November, I was so blown away by your voice and stage presence and the music! When you come back to Australia, a friend (who I met because we both love another musician’s music but then discovered we both love you too) and I intend to go to as many of your concerts that we can get to… I hope you have a wonderful 2012.. ♥♥


canuckbunny on January 2 2012 said

Why is it when we read these blogs we feel so completely connected, for me it’s like listening to a brother, a loved one talk to me. Your gift of reaching us , where we live, in our hearts and minds is so rare, so unique , so very special. I always am filled with an overwhelming warmth, a grin as I read, and feel my heart overwhelm with emotion. You make me smile, and cry because what you feel and how you express it, speaks so clearly to me own thoughts and emotions, I know I could never express as clearly as you do.
I hold the dream in my heart I will get to hear you one day live, to perhaps capture a moment, a touch, an exchange. I know one day it will happen. But for now I am thankful for being part of this fan club, so aptly named. For life, our world, is so incredibly fragile and delicate indeed just like the neon bird you so wisely chose to represent TDTWM, and now the fan club. We are held together by the threads of you, the music, all drawn together in one place that is indeed representative of joy, in so many ways.
Thankyou for sharing you process, your thoughts about the show. I am moved to tears reading everyones recollections. All I can say is that I know, IKILU, is appropriate to me, for you to feel it come together, and for everyone to sing it with you and for you, because you know it’s how we feel about you. I know its how I feel many times, ‘I think I dreamed you into life’, and yes for me, I know I love ya, before I’ve even met you. ( although I feel I have).
  Wishing for all of your dreams to be fulfilled his year for you,Rich, Wally, and all you love. Happy New Year Darren. xxxLinda


bigblueeyes on January 2 2012 said

Thank you Darren for your special words about that truly magical night.

It was wonderful, you didn’t fail us, you give us so much, as your employer wink you will never be out of work, I’ll always need you to work for me.

I loved every minute and was dumbstruck when you came to the barrier. I had given you a little squeeze when you were doing your walk about, sorry, couldn’t resist. I feel dumbstruck now, you’re just brilliant! xxx


undiscovered_light on January 2 2012 said

Thank you Darren for a wonderful night on New Years Eve. It had everything, celebrations, joy, tears, laughter and amazing music. For a couple of hours you made my world stop on what has been a bittersweet 2011 for me. I am so thankful and grateful that I will always have your music to fall back on to help guide me through.

Love you lots,
Jenny
x


mica1 on January 2 2012 said

I missed your New Year show but I’m sure it was fantastic. During the ups and downs life throws at us there are those moments that mean everything and can pull us back from the brink. Luckily for me when the downs come I can listen to your music and lyrics and feel it isn’t just me that has fallen so far and if others can get back up so can I. Have a fabulous 2012. xxx


XiaoMaoMusic on January 2 2012 said

Thank you for you and yours working so hard for us.

After reading your post, the song from Ren and Stimpy came into my head… “Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy.” Theirs is an idiot brilliance that allows the two to be combined.

Manchester NYE was the best of the three, I think the word space is the common thread [not just the origin of NYE countdown clocks]. Performance space designed to bring audience closer to audience and performer. The claiming of that space for all parties to come together to create an experience. The space for us to be totally “outed” and unapologetic in the quasi-religious/family aspects of the fanbase. Space to dance.

I have too much to say that I have nothing to say.

I love being able to be your observer, your supporter, and at times like NYE, a contributor.

You have always made a space for joy in our lives.

Thank you, and happy new year.


Chained2U on January 2 2012 said

It was an amazing night, Darren. I actually touched you lightly on the back at one point 9Just one finger, i hope you weren’t offended…I didn’t want to manhandle you, but I couldn’t let you pass so close without touching you!). To me, the errors of the night were what made it so beautiful. It was great to see you chat away to the crowds, and although I could tell you wanted it to go smoothly at the end and you were frustrated, for me and I believe many of your fans, to hear you chatting to us was so much better than any song. And hearing Affirmation acapella- even if only one verse- was an amazing thing that everyone treasured. I loved hearing Ocean and Whether you like it or not. Californa was also a real treat. Thank you so much for the catwalk- it was amazing to see you so close, and I was happy that it allowed all your fans to see you equally well! We came from Glasgow, and I know people travelled further- from Italy and Mexico as you say- it was great to such a family gathering. I remember seeing Richard and feeling a thrill of happiness as he stood and mingled with the crowds. I loved everyone singing I knew I loved you, and I saw how deeply it touched you too.
Thank you for such a great night, and I can’t wait to see you live again! xox


charlie_ion on January 2 2012 said

you are the one !


Francia on January 2 2012 said

Darren
I have been fortunate to see you live many times and attended your last NYE show in London. Your show this NYE was the best ever, it was truly magical and a night I will never forget. You never fail to amaze me with your beautiful songs and voice. I love the fact you are ‘human’ and we all felt the love in the room on NYE, especially during ‘I knew I loved you’. Thank you for spending the time to come and chat and sign autographs, that personal interaction is the icing on the cake with a cherry on top too!! It was great to meet you again. Keep doing what you do. You are so talented and deserve all your success.
Love always. xxx


Hayesangel on January 2 2012 said

I became overcome with emotion after reading that beautiful blog. We more than appreciate your hard work and dedication Darren. The show was pure perfection that’s for sure and I adored every single second.  The atmosphere was electric and for you to spend so much time afterwards chatting to so many fans was so very generous and kind of you. i have never contemplated the difference between happiness and joy before but I guess happiness is more contentment which is a stage I’m finally at in life - took me a while to get there. I did actually buy you an Edward Monkton book called happiness couple of years ago with fun descriptions and illustrations s it reminded me of how you make me feel and I always felt there should be a page dedicated to you in there but I guess joy would be more appropriate. It’s still upstairs in the bag somewhere, I should pass it on to you. The joy you have brought into my life is endless, from the first time seeing you on MTV back in my 20’s as I’d never experienced such a strong connection to music before and then to actually seeing you live for the first time on the affirmation tour, which touched me so deeply I cried happy tears for days.  Hearing You can still be free again on Saturday was a real treat which brought those feelings back. Then to finally meeting you in 2002 at Wolves which is one of my favourite moments EVER! At the time I thought it would be the first and last time I’d ever get close to you, so i had to make the most of it and can now apologise for my behaviour lol. And since then so many, many incredible moments that I’ll always cherish forever. I’m now almost 40 and Darren joy is still the best feeling. You have been beyond beautiful to me which I remain eternally grateful for.
With so much love.
Jayne
xx
apologies if this get posted twice. I wasn’t logged in first time. Have so many probs with this site.


Kris on January 3 2012 said

I wrote about it too and I thought you should know:
http://differentkindofpopstar.blogspot.com/

It was amazing to be there !!!


LollyPhant on January 3 2012 said

I was at the show and I felt like a little child on Christmas. I was so excited standing outside in the line for the early entry. I was elevated as if I’d been drinking, my heart was screeching in falsetto like ‘iiiiiih’. I felt unstable. I was on the verge of bursting into tears any second. Tears of joy.

At the show I was so excited to see The Candle Thieves - they were amazing! And I loved that they played their ‘old’ music more than the new stuff. I’ve haven’t heard the new stuff and I just wanted to be able to sing along! Loved it. They will go far! smile

Then, when Darren came on stage I cracked. He played (one of my favorite songs) Step Into The Light and set the course to Awesomeness! He even sang ‘Ocean’ which is one of my absolute favorite songs!

I literally burst into tears when he sang Bloodstained Heart. It got me thinking of the beautiful Christmas-message he posted on YouTube. I thought of his mother who had surrounded her children with stars, though they were living in the gutter. I see her as a heroine and I do believe that her love shaped Darren into this beautiful, lovable person he is.

Talking about love. There was so much love in the air that night! And so much joy. People were smiling at strangers, dancing with strangers and everyone seemed at peace. I loved how the audience was such a mix up of all kinds of people; girls, boys, men, women, gay, straight, bi, trans, old, young, couples, singles… And everyone were there for the same reason - Darren and his incredible ways of spreading love and joy with his music, his funny talks and his big, big heart.

It was the first time I ever saw my favorite artist and also my favorite band The Candle Thieves playing to me live and it’s something I’ll never forget. I’m on the verge of crying again just looking back at all the lovely memories and remembering the elevating feeling of standing there in front of them, with my hands together, like an angel praying, and just loving what I feel.

This is something I will look back at any time I feel low - how lucky I was to be able go all the way from Sweden to experience this night of love and joy.

I thank you so much for making the night so beautiful and special to me and probably everyone else who went! I loved it so much and I hope I will get to see another concert soon! smile

You fill my heart with love, peace, respect, understanding and joy. That’s why I look up to you, Darren.

My new year’s resolution will be to not complain about the things I have or haven’t got. I don’t do that a lot, but when I do I really end up hating myself. I’m thankful for my life and my abilities to feel true joy and love for my surroundings.

Love
Louise


LibraLady59 on January 3 2012 said

OH Darren, I know what you mean when you speak of happiness vs joy!!!!  And I sure feel that joy every time I hear or see you sing!!!  That is the honest to God’s truth!!!!!  I swear!!!  I love Elvis and, you know I love Elton John, but you touch every emotion and feeling in a person via your singing, song writing, presentation, generosity, kindness, humor…....  and I could go on and on…......  I decided to only take a few photos during the show (without flash), not only because you had previously requested it, but also because I wanted to take in every emotion and note from every word!!  Sure, I wish I had more photos or even a video clip or two, but the experience of ‘getting into’ the music and you was a joy all it’s own!!!  You are always speaking of how you cannot fully express your gratitude and joy, but I feel the exact same way!!  There are no words to adequately describe it.  Just as there are no truly adequate words to describe love.  We have the word and we just assume that everyone knows the depth of emotions involved in love, but, sadly, tis not true.  I have not been able to see you perform in a full blown concert, but have been extremely lucky and blessed to have seen you perform live 5 times now and each time, I walk away with a feeling of extreme joy!!! Nope, cannot explain it!!!  As far as the glitches and bugs, they go unnoticed by me because you fill those little glitches with so much humor that I don’t think anyone would guess there was a glitch involved!!!  Honestly, I had difficulty discerning if the guitar thing was a true issue or if you planned it that way for humor’s sake!!  hehe God has indeed blessed YOU and blessed US with YOU!!!  That was the best NYE that I have had in my entire life!!!!! 
Having come so close to death myself over something very stupid and rare, I thank God every day for the water to drink and bathe in, the roof over my head, the bed I sleep in, the food in my stomach and in my cupboards and fridge, etc etc.  Even though I do that, “Roses” really drove it home!!! 
All I can say is: THANK YOU, DARREN!!!  THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING, LITERALLY!!!  It’s so funny, because the first time my daughter saw “I Want You” video, I went to see what had her attention.  I had my ideas about you, which later proved to be true; but I never knew the bundle of joy that would come to pass!!!  YOU ARE VERY WORTHY!!!  DO NOT EVERY DOUBT THAT!!!! 
I WISH EVERYONE A VERY HAPPY, HEALTHY AND PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR….FULL OF JOY!! wink
LOVE AND HUGS!!! XXXX wink


LibraLady59 on January 3 2012 said

P.S.  There’s no “potentially” about it:  IT WAS A GREAT SHOW, A GREAT NIGHT, GREAT PEOPLE, GREAT JOY!!!! <3 <3


Suzz on January 3 2012 said

Darren that is such a beautiful message, but please don’t be so hard on yourself or think you’re failing us.  Your performance was as fantastic as always from beginning to end.

This may be a strange comparison but I think you’ll get where I’m coming from.  I grew up in a family that really got into Christmas, and I wanted to carry that on when I grew up and had a family of my own.  I was so intent on getting it absolutely perfect, that the fear that something would go wrong would be so intense, I’d feel sick with stress. Then when it came, I was too exhausted to enjoy it to the ful.  Everything that wasn’t absolutely perfect gave me a sense of failure, even though they were just such incredibly small things that nobody else would notice.  But that didn’t matter ... because I knew. The fact was that the ‘perfect’ Christmases my mother always seemed to manage probably didn’t go exactly according to her plan either, but we never knew.  I know you said that you’d rehearsed like mad for 3 days for the show.  Maybe on the night you sang a line in a certain way but didn’t, maybe you’d intended to make a certain move during a certain line in a certain song, and hadn’t.  Nobody would know that except you, because we saw what we saw at face value ... which was a very talented singer, a man we all adored giving an amazing performance.  I hope that makes sense!  And remember only recently you said about your happiest Christmas as a child as being the one that was probably the least perfect, in that you were in a trailer park, eating takeaway food - far from anybody’s idealistic image of a perfect Christmas lunch where the family are all seated in a beautiful dining room at a beautifully set table. Yet what made it so special was that you were with people you loved, and felt the incredible strength of love your mother had for you in saving up all year to buy you the Star Wars toys.  Remember, when we come to see you sing, we’re not sitting in judgement ready to tsk if you make a mistake or get a lyric wrong.  We come to enjoy your singing, and that we certainly do!

It was clear that everybody there had a terrific time - your performance was charismatic and exciting, your singing impeccable and beautiful as always, and your jokes were funny. Even if you had made an obvious mistake (which you didn’t at all), you’re human, and nobody would have minded at all, and it wouldn’t have lessened our enjoyment of the evening one iota!

My eyes certainly welled up when you cried during ‘IKILY’, it was an incredibly moving moment.

Please don’t ever underestimate the respect, admiration and love we have for you, or fear that you’ll lose that.  Certainly since I became a member of the fanclub in 2003, I don’t think I’ve ever known such respect within the fan community, both for you and also for one another.  I meet quite a lot of fans regularly, and they only ever have nice things to say about you.  Believe me, you are very well-loved and respected.

We all believe in you unconditionally, please believe in yourself.

And personally for me, your music has brought joy into my life through dark times, and has been an amazing comfort to me in my bereavement. How could that ever make you a failure?

love and hugs,

Sue
xx


koala_z_86 on January 3 2012 said

It was really a great amazing super show!!!you all were great and no matter if something went a little bit wrong (for example the falling of the keyboard during Candle thieves song),it was such an amazing show!!!Thanks for the great emotions of last night and thanks for having come down to meet us and thanks to Steve for everything he do and has done for me.You make me start this year with a new wave of energy!!! See you next time and come to Italy,we want to see you also here and we can prepare something really super for you!!! Chiara


Chris1 on January 3 2012 said

Darren, I have never ever come away from any of your performances I’ve been fortunate to attend with the feeling you have not given your all and then some.  New Year’s Eve 2011 was no exception and this one was my 3rd. To me there was no indication that things were/had been going awry behind the scenes because you and your team carried on like the true professionals you are. I loved every minute of it (apart from the weather!)  The mutual love, emotion, respect and admiration, not forgetting outright joy, in that hall was palpable.  Like a lot of others I just wanted to give you the biggest hug when you got all choked up during I knew I loved you….you weren’t the only one who was tearful!  It’s no surprise that you have such a wonderful community of fans because they reflect the wonderful person you are. We are all connected to you and to each other thru your music and it’s something I’ve never experienced before with any other artist. It’s amazing!
Thanks to you Darren, your band and everyone involved for making New Year’s Eve 2011 very special.  Happy New Year and see you on tour
Love and hugs
Chris


Nadezda on January 3 2012 said

Happy New Year Darren. Thank you and all your team for this awesome show. I came specially from St.Petersburg (Russia) and I can say that it was my best NYE ever. Now I’m at home and have a lot of emotions. Thanks for all (especially for your patience; it was really difficult to pay attention for so manyl people which were at NYE show, but you did it). I hope that my gift reach you (you forgot it on stage) =) Best wishes for you!


poodlepants on January 3 2012 said

Hi Darren

What a truly amazing show , I had such a joyous night.  Thank you to you and your band for everything and all of your hard work. I did not stay on after the show as my poor hubby was ill but I am gutted and very jealous to still not to have meet you!  One day maybe!
Love and very best wishes
Lisa x


Saara on January 3 2012 said

Dear Darren,

I wanna thank you for spending the NYE with us, I’m sure you would have many other things to do that night, but you choose to spend it with your fans, that is amazing! I’ve only seen you once before this NYE, and I was soooo nervous before the show! I saw you on your Big Night In tour in Sheffield and would love to see you more often, you should come to Finland! smile I was so excited (and am) , that you took a picture of two of us. It’s now my profile picture on facebook and I’m forever grateful that you spent the night with us. It was a magical show. I’m a fan for over 10 years and it was worth the effort to fly over and be there.

Love always,

Saara


Belladonna on January 4 2012 said

Darren I felt that too…that joyful moment just as it happened and wasn’t in the least surprised when you wiped away sudden tears.

I have so much to say and no way that I can say it that will ever fully express the depth of what I feel. I tried to explain it to Gemma, my friend, as we endeavoured to get to sleep that night (or rather, morning after!) “Say it like you’ve just said it to me” she said and now I forget all my words! You are not my partner, brother, friend (we do not know each other well enough to truly say that though you make me feel as understood as if you were, indeed, a friend) yet I feel extremely closely bound to you through your music and your personality. I see a little of myself in you. I feel an affinity.  I, too, am a perfectionist at times, hence I am very self-critical. “You are too hard on yourself!” is the cry I’ve heard so many times. I envy you in the happiness you have found with Richard but I love that you have that happiness. It breaks my heart that you’ve had dark times in your life. May that never be so again!  When my darker moments come it is you that gets me through that moment. I only have to put my little ‘phones in and your voice in my ear is a balm, soothing…taking me to a happy escape!  My life, without your music in it, would be an empty wasteland where my personal sirens would totally deafen me!

NYE was a first for me. I made a decision I’ve never made before and I am not quite ready yet to explain how crucial that decision was as I have a long way to go but your importance in my life was the reason I made that decision.  If I gain the strength I need to follow through I hope, you will understand should I get a chance to tell you.

Never ever feel like you fail us as that is so far from the truth! I hope your music will be a part of my life for many years to come. NYE was an amazing experience! You have brought so many lovely people together through your music and to share such a night with them was something I’ll never forget.

On a final note our taxi driver, after the gig, was asking us about the night. He said he’d had other fans in the cab who were enthusing as we were and knew they’d come from around the world. He asked us the ticket pricethen said that ih someone could command that for a gig and bring people from all over the world then he had to see you for himself! Needless to say we encouraged him to do just that!

Thank you so much Darren, from the very bottom of my heart!  x


wena on January 4 2012 said

Darren i haven’t seen any of your concerts but I always say this, for me you’re truly one of a kind and extraordinary artist i’ve ever known next to MJ. For me, you’re not just one great artist, but also an inspiration and a role model. You’re a beautiful human being, you have a good (purple) heart, that’s why you are blessed and loved! I’ll always and forever be a fan. You have my love, loyalty and respect!x


wena on January 4 2012 said

BTW Darren, have you seen the purple heart necklace i posted in your FB? I hope you liked it.smile


Gemmadh on January 4 2012 said

Well I did post in the thread so I will try not to ramble on too much here wink but I just want to say that 2011 was not a good year for me so to end it on such a high with you, the band and very good friends whom I love very much is the most joyous thing I can think of!! I for one wouldn’t have known if there were any mistakes made on the night because you are such a professional you don’t let it show and always care about making sure we all have such a good time, I just hope you enjoy it as much as we do smile
When you stood there talking to the audience before singing IKILY I could feel the emotion and then when you wiped the tears away I could feel my own eyes pricking, not with sadness but with happiness that you found such a wonderful person who gives you so much love joy and happiness of which you truly deserve, Love always to you Darren smile xx


Caroline on January 4 2012 said

Hi Darren,

What beautiful words, very moving.

Unfortunately I could not make the NYE show but I have tried to watch as many clips as possible from the night as it looked amazing. Your singing, the songs choices and then the comedy moments were genius. I laughed hard at your impersonation of one of the girls, it was very funny!!

I have not missed any of your Scottish shows, the one in October 2011 being outstanding. I always wonder how you can make it better than the last, but you never let us down.

My personal joyous moment was 4 years ago.You were coming to Glasgow and I was just finishing 6 months of Chemo and I thought I would not make the show.
Luckily I made it at the last minute and sat in the front row with hardly any hair from the treatment (Glasgow women do not normally look like this…honest) It was one of the best nights of my life and for me to make it back again in October last year was heaven.

You were being played on Radio 2 yesterday during a bad storm here and the weather was making the station go off air to my horror. I was running around with my radio in hand trying to get you back, funny moment. The things we do for you!!

Thank you for the music and for the wonderful stories that your songs tell. Don’t try too hard to be perfect, it made me ill trying, just be yourself, things will fall into place.

Have a wonderful 2012 to you and yours and please come back to Glasgow soon, we miss you already.

Love to you xxx

p.s. Have just joined your fan club…..so excited, why did it take me so long?


marktomlin1 on January 4 2012 said

I had such an amazing time NYE!... I can’t wait for the next show!


Jacques Botha on January 5 2012 said

Hi Darren… wish I could have seen the show (or any show for that matter), but being in South Africa makes it difficult. Perfectly understand what you mean about joy and happiness. Just finishing my second album and the first live show is on my 40th birthday… Can’t wait to give that something back to my fans and friends. Hope you at least plan to release the new show on DVD again, so that I can at least get to see it… Peace!


Stephanie sheard on January 5 2012 said

hi darren i just want to thankyou for the best show on NYE in Manchester ,,it was amazing and behind all what you said i always believe in you and always will ,the emotions you bring to us ,,is truly insprarational ,,cant wait to see you again as it was 2 yrs since i saw you live last as i wasnt able to make your tour 2011 ,,so im making sure i dont miss the next tour ,,i was the lady that bumped into u in shepherds bush one republic do u remember ?also you liked my purple flower in my hair NYE ,,great memories D always is ,,hope to meet and speak to u longer next time ..thanx for everything ..and all the best in 2012 love and hugs Steph xxxxx


Mamie on January 5 2012 said

It’s great that we could give joy each other that night, really unique experience. Yes, I/we’ve stood by you through all of the years. I hope you’ll take it kindly if I say that in a sense I can call you my soul mate too, ‘cause some of our aspects of outlook on life, thoughts, interests are alike (umm, your music, for example wink)  Darren, I like the way you speak about the difference between happiness and joy. Agree with you. I would add some ‘extra’ information about those 2 words and what they mean for me, but I suppose this is a separate topic.

Indeed, the journey to happiness isn’t easy. I still remember the grey day for me in 2006. But didn’t give up. And gradually I started to see the sun behind the clouds, managed to see the truth behind the ‘mask’ and to understand the probable reason of all that. And went on following my road. Difficult, but possible. Well,  that’s the way it goes. But those moments of joy help us to hold on.

Anyway, I’m delighted to think that the sun shone for us that night. The special show. I liked the catwalk, the songs before the show (esp. ABBA) and your outfits, of course. Thank You for my joy too, for taking the photo, for you amiability.

Here’s to more moments in our lives.

Love,
Maria


fatimagodinho on January 6 2012 said

good evening

darling Darren, i keep on loving you more… more, i think you wonderful,you to had a soul beautiful, i love in you everything your smile, your voz and your eyes, so your artistic work.                                                                                            i m writing more about you in my history in my book future. happy new year to you and your family.  good night dreams angel.


Yari on January 8 2012 said

It was absolutely great show last week Darren! I couldn’t believe it was almost four years since I saw your performance last time, almost an Olympiad, that really is long time! When I wanted to check the way to the NE venue, there were fans queuing already seven hours prior to your stage(!) I could not stay so great thanks that you had arranged the stage so that it was possible to see you also from a bit longer distance.

The opening song was one of the favourites, as many have mentioned here. Then, hearing You Can Still Be Free was one of the most awaited moments ever since I bought the tickets in May. Once more, Happy Happier New Year and hopefully to see and hear you soon!


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Kim on January 13 2012 said

What a beautiful post.

I feel so close to you even though we have never met, and probably never will. You put music to what I feel and it affirms that I will never be alone. I remember being a child, running around and dancing to “I Want You.” I also remember crying through many of your deep, dark pieces that spoke to me in a way that I can’t explain.  But through your music, I have always found hope.

Your words give me strength. I don’t think there’s any way to properly thank a person for that. Never stop what you do.

Kim


bar on January 18 2012 said

I’ve been to follow you many places and ALL a JOY I carry with me and share with others. This was my first NYE and hopefully first of many.
Your staging, singing


Dave page on January 25 2012 said

First time Ive spent NYE with you, O.M.G! what a night,the show was out of this world, 2011 was a crap year personally , had two tickets for me and my wife but we separated in November and i went on my own, i wasn’t missing this for nothing. you spoke of joy,yes that’s what you gave to us all that was lucky enough Tobe there, i will treasure the memory for life and i will remember the joy i felt that night ....... thank you Darren wishing you a great 2012


Alli on January 27 2012 said

There are far too many emotions to put to words, but for now I hope that ‘thank you’ will suffice.  New Years Eve was unique from any Darren Hayes performance I’ve ever been a part of.  I am so grateful that I was finally able to travel across the ocean to witness, feel, and embrace the love and respect that was in the room that night.  I have a feeling that I’ll be making the trip from Toronto to the UK a few more times this year…
So, thank you for once again putting your heart and soul into what you do.


mlue on January 29 2012 said

Wow….I wander back to see what DH is up too.  I always loved reading your thoughts back in the old Savage Fan days.  You always had a way with words that just sucked me in from the moment I saw a Savage Garden concert.  I love “Black Out the Sun”.  Perhaps one day I’ll see you sing live again.


Paulina on February 3 2012 said

Hi Darren,

I haven’t been at the show and I regret it every day. I have loved your voice and music since I heard you for a first time as a Savage Garden. It is really amazing what you do.
You are the best and I hope I could meet you in person one day soon.
I have a few dreams but the biggest one is to visit Australia which I hope will happen this year the other one is to meet my star Darren and maybe with a little help of him that dream will come true, as well.
All my love for you Darren lots of happiness for 2012 and always sunny days.

Love Paulina


Anne on February 25 2012 said

I have tried to get to an missed the last two NYEs; I shall not miss this year!  Can I say unequivocally that joy is the return you get for personal investment at the most human level?  I have experienced real joy only a few times in my life - and it, if you’ll pardon the plagiarism!  Hits you like a subway train! You just realise that is a feeling purer than happiness.  Watching my granddaughter take her first breath in this world being the most profound.  I remember seeing a clip of you with Pavarotti and that did it too!  although I don’t know why, everyone I know is sick of me saying “his voice is amazing!” reading your words prompts me to just let you know that we are all human and not everything pans out in life as we’d like, (even the Nye gig, with all the will in the world!) but know this Mr Hayes, The joy you have brought to so many people with your voice, humanity and being have made us all a little more something, we will all be affected differently maybe appreciative, tolerant, open or giving and that we thank you for.  I’ve never been an “employer” before but you, sir, are one heck of an employee!!!
Much love and peace in 2012 - and see you on NYE!!X


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klb on February 5 2013 said

Just over 12 months on and I still remember this like it was yesterday - my first NYE concert!!!  What a night!!  The Candle Thieves, the music, the atmosphere, the emotion…..  It was all mind blowing.  And my favourite part of the night was getting to meet you at the end, just when I was about to leave (an early start with a 2 year old meant I was fading fast!!), you appeared!!  It truly made my night!  Now my little boy is nearly 4 and loves your music as much as I do.  He can’t wait to see you in concert!!!  Enjoy your downtime!


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Earlier Tuesday, drug maker Johnson & Johnson topped analyst estimates for earnings per share and revenue. In contrast, Citigroup’s earnings came in shy of estimates as revenue from bond trading came in lighter than expected.


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